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Rep. Billy Long, the proud owner of verified Twitter handle “auctnr1,” reminded us again this week why his colleagues call him Congress’ “auctioneer in residence.”

As President Donald Trump finished his third State of the Union speech Tuesday night and Speaker Nancy Pelosi tore her copy in half, Long was stationed in the center-right aisle of the chamber to get the president to sign his tie.

Updated, 11:05 a.m. | What happens when a creative young staffer with a monotonous job and hours to kill takes to Instagram? A hilarious meditation on Hill life told through the language of our time: memes.

Hungover mornings, angry constituents, awkward interactions and career anxiety are all being meticulously documented by a group of meme accounts taking over Capitol Hill. There’s one for almost every position in a congressional office — staff assistant, legislative correspondent, press secretary, communications director and scheduler. Even campaign fundraisers and committee staffers get a nod.

If you know where to look, you can spot Rhonda Foxx’s “superwoman cape.” Hint: It’s not draped behind her.

It’s worn on her wrist — a large metallic bracelet that she twists whenever she’s feeling self-doubt. “If you ever see me speak, you’re going to see me touch a cuff,” she told me on a recent Sunday night.

The House paused briefly Tuesday to honor NBA legend Kobe Bryant, who died in a helicopter crash Sunday alongside his daughter and seven others. California Reps. Maxine Waters and Harley Rouda were joined in the well of the House by 16 other members for the moment of silence, which lasted 33 seconds.

Before the remembrance, Rouda read the names of all nine people who died in a crash he called “horrific.” Those who lost their lives “were all connected by the love of the game,” he said.

As the Senate geared up for another day of arguments in Donald Trump’s impeachment trial, quiet descended on the chamber for the opening prayer — and the chaplain used the moment to remember a basketball titan. “We think about life’s brevity, uncertainty and legacy,” Chaplain Barry Black said as he mourned Kobe Bryant and his daughter, who died in a helicopter crash on Sunday.

If you’re wondering how the Senate impeachment trial is going, consider this historic photo.

A pallet of candy stands outside Sen. Pat Toomey’s office, shrink-wrapped. Notice the Hershey’s bars (milk chocolate with almonds). And the Rolos. And the stray Mike and Ikes (flavor: berry blast).

“Spot the snoozing politician” is pretty much an annual tradition at the State of the Union. Now there’s a new chance to play the game.

As President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial continues, lawmakers are slouching, yawning and fidgeting — and observers in the gallery are watching for drooping eyelids.

Last year, he served up fast food from McDonald’s. This year, he served up “big strong” compliments.

As the shadow of an impeachment trial looms, Louisiana State University’s newly minted national champion football team provided President Donald Trump a welcome distraction Friday morning at the White House.

Ed Henry had an interview scheduled with Bill Clinton. It was a relatively sleepy week in Washington, the State of the Union was approaching, and the young reporter planned to ask the president about his relationship with Congress.

Things changed. News of the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke, and what was supposed to be a routine sit-down turned into a 15-minute phone call brimming with executive denials: “not sexual,” “not improper,” “not true.”