hoh

With all of the heated discussion surrounding the release of today’s Mueller report (and I know what you’re thinking, “What Mueller report?”), I can’t help but notice one thing that’s been redacted (see what I did there?) from the conversation: the ungodly amount of pages in this thing.Now, I’d like to wishfully think that minimal paper has been wasted, since the report was delivered on a CD — because today is Thursday, after all, and apparently we’re throwing it back to 1997. But 448 pages? Random, right?

Not so much. It turns out Robert Mueller isn’t the only law enthusiast who’s penned a literary work (of sorts) at this length. 

You didn’t have to venture far from the Capitol on Thursday to find a crowd of Washingtonians who weren’t overwhelmed by the Mueller report.

Patrick Corbin, the newest Nationals star starting pitcher, took the mound a little after 1 p.m., before key Democrats like House Judiciary Chairman Jerrold Nadler or Senate Intelligence Vice Chairman Mark Warner had even weighed in on the substance of the report.

If you go on Twitter today (which we know you will), you’ll drown in the same tweets highlighting the same quotes from Attorney General William Barr’s press conference ahead of the highly anticipated release of the Mueller report on Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

You’ll of course also find several members of Congress weighing in on said events, with wordy testimonies within multiple threads — which they are at liberty to do, given the First Amendment and the large platform to First Amendment on. Yes, we just made that into a verb.

Congress is heading out of town for its two-week April recess, but members had an eventful week before they hit the road. 

Spring entered full bloom as Minnesota members enjoyed delicious hotdishes during their annual cooking competition, and Democrats pow-wowed in Leesburg, Virginia, for their retreat — with some celebrity guests.

The Senate pushed the nuclear option, again, to change its rules so judicial and executive nominees are subject to less debate. With a debate that featured Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell delivering such eloquent bon mots as “He started it!” at Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer, it’s fair to ask what it will take to restore the chamber to a place that looks like it’s populated with adults. 

“Ironically, I think it’s going to take more conflict,” says James Wallner, a senior fellow at the R Street Institute, former Senate aide and all-around procedural badass.

All hail Scott, a very savvy congressional intern who called into Gimlet Media’s “Reply All” podcast last week.

This Scott, you see, is dating in D.C., and he believes in doing his due diligence, especially when it comes to the one romantic quality that sets hearts a-fluttering: earning power. 

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says her office is looking like a bachelor pad or a warehouse and she hopes Bobby Berk, star of the Netflix show “Queer Eye,” can give her some help. But she might want to review House ethics rules and recent history first. 

“Hey @AOC! I’m in DC all week girl! Put me to work! ‘Have time... will work for democracy!’” Berk tweeted early Tuesday morning. 

Oh, the things you learn from reading the transcript of House investigators’ interview with George Papadopoulos, the former campaign aide for President Donald Trump who spent time in federal prison for making false statements to the FBI. 

The House Judiciary and Oversight and Government Reform committees interviewed Papadopoulos on Oct. 25, 2018, and current Judiciary ranking member Doug Collins released the transcript of the interview this week. It’s kind of fun, amid the serious legal and ethical issues that we at HoH are happy to hand off to someone else.  

Even a congressman can’t pump gas in New Jersey — the last state in the country where drivers can’t fuel up their own vehicles. 

Although the advisory for Rep. Josh Gottheimer’s March 16 “Josh on the Job” event at a Rochelle Park Amoco station said he’d be pumping gas for Jersey drivers, the sophomore Democrat was resigned to squeegeeing windshields.

The effort to expand brand name food options in the House continues, with Au Bon Pain opening in the Cannon House Office Building next week.

The cafe, which will serve sandwiches, breads, pastries, salads, soups and coffee, will be on the first floor of Cannon in room 194. The location will be open Monday through Friday 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. and will employ about 16 people. The location will be under the management umbrella of Sodexo, the food service contractor for the House.